Reading progress update: I've read 14%.

The Last of August (Charlotte Holmes Novel) - Brittany Cavallaro

Rules for dealing with a Holmes:

 

#28: If you're upset, Holmes is the last person you should ask to make you feel better, unless you want to be chided for having feelings.

#29: If Holmes is upset, hide all firearms and install a new lock on you door. 

 

Good lord this is the most toxic friendship ever.