Awful...

The Cosy Christmas Teashop - Caroline Roberts

Squints real hard.

 

So this is not going to be pretty.

 

Look away, look away.


This book was awful. Let's ignore the typos galore, the freaking continuity errors, the lack of dialogue that was happening. This was barely a Christmas book. At this time of the year, I freaking crave Christmas romance books. I can't help it. It gets me in the holiday mood. I love to decorate, put on some carols, drink some alcoholic eggnog and just relax. Reading this book at 11 p.m. and finishing it up around 3 a.m. just made me angry. Angry because this could have been a nice slam dunk and a great second book. Instead I wonder if this was even edited by someone based on the typos I saw and highlighted on my Kindle. That was the only thing keeping me awake at that point.

 

"The Cosy Christmas Teashop" takes place three years after the events in book #1. Ellie and Joe are happily married and running the castle and teashop respectively. 

 

Now that Ellie and Joe are settled, they are dealing with having the castle open up to host weddings as well as there regular tours/teashop hours. Ellie and Joe are also now trying to have a baby now that they are bit older. 


Unlike with the first book, there is no back and forth between Ellie and Joe. The main character is Ellie. And at times though she is only 31, she sounds like a woman twice her age. We barely get any dialogue in this one, and when we do, Ellie sounds like a stereotypical character from a British soap. She calls another woman her same age "pet" one time. She sounds matronly and old though is near times most of the story.

 

And I hope you like reading about Joe's penis. Cause it's referenced a lot. There are no hot sex scenes like we had in book #1, we just read a lot about how much Joe/Ellie like to have sex or really Joe likes to have sex. Wait, there may have been a sex scene, but I have blocked it out. Yes, I think I remember one. The other one was just terrible with the author talking about how they danced on each other's bodies and I don't know. What the hell does that even mean?

 

Ellie barely speaks to anyone and vice versa. It drove me up the wall in the end. I don't even get why she and Joe are even together since they seem to have zero things in common. I love romance series cause you get to see the same couples over and over again and you get why they are together. In this one I was perplexed since they seemed like two strangers who enjoyed having sex with each other. 

 

There is no development with any other characters either. I think it's weird that Ellie's best friend from back home is referenced, but never talked to. We do get a scene with Ellie talking to her dead grandmother though. So there's that. 

 

Image result for stares real hard gif

 

There are continuity errors galore in this which drove me up the wall. Ellie's brother was only 17 in book 1, it's been three years since they got married or five years since the first book, which would make him 21 or 22 depending. Roberts has him at 26. I wanted to scream about that. Especially since in book #1 it is mentioned that Ellie is 9 years older than her brother. 

 

There are also typos all over. I hope you like reading "Jo-oe" "o-kay" and "Mr and Mrs" with no periods anywhere. There was also I think a couple of times extra "s" in certain words and I refuse to go look that mess up. The funniest/saddest one was Ellie saying Lord H when referencing Lord Henry that is never used again. I assume they forgot to spell out the rest of his name. 

 

The book is also repetitive to the point that I think that it could have easily lost 20-30 pages if things had been cut out. We get that things are okay between Joe's mother and Lord Henry even though there was initial awkwardness. I get that Ellie is going to make some lemon drizzle cake. I know that the rooms that Ellie and Joe live in need to be overhauled. Repeating it more than once was not necessary.


If Roberts wanted to make more an impression there should have been more of a Christmas element to the book. At the end of the book we get some of that (it snows), but other than that, there is no description of the decorations or people in any great detail. You would think that most of the book is just the same 8 or 9 characters mentioned over and over again. And honestly, I was expecting some recipes to appear in this one. It would have made the book better if we had some of Ellie's grandmother's recipes. 

 

 Task 9- Tasks for Winter Solstice and Yaldā Night: Read a book in one night - in the S. Hemisphere, read a book in a day. –OR–Grab one of your thickest books off the shelf.  Ask a question and then turn to page 40 and read the 9th line of text on that page.  Post your results.  –OR–Eat a watermelon or pomegranate for good luck and health in the coming year, but post a pic first!

 

Bonus task:  Read a book in one night.