Abandoned by Booklikes

Please note that I gave this book 2.5 stars but rounded up to 3 stars on Goodreads.

For those of you who watched Sex and the City 2 (look none of us like to admit we watched it, but come on, we did, it was bad, but we totally watched it) remember there is a whole storyline about Big and Carrie getting kind of sick of each other. Carrie was not happy that not every single day was roses and champagne and Big wanted to just eat on the couch with his shoes still on? And then they spend a weekend apart and then go off and have sex and they feel all renewed and Big broaches them doing something like that more often? Remember how pissed you felt as a viewer that you were being forced to watch a 2 plus hour movie with some of your favorite characters (confession I hated freaking Big. I hated he turned Carrie into a victim and she kept coming back for it. I was all about Aiden) who acted that should be a thing with them doing that more often and of course Carrie's girls looked at her like she was crazy for even considering something like that. Well that movie is similar to what is happening in "After I Do."

The main character, Lauren has been married to her husband Ryan for 11 years. They met while in college and Lauren can't imagine not loving Ryan after they initially start dating. However, through just general thoughtlessness they both start fighting about small things and ignoring the big thing which is that they are not happy. After one fight too many, Ryan and Lauren admit they are both not happy with Ryan suggesting that they live a year apart from each other with no contact. That way they can see if they miss each other enough to start again and love each other. Oh and Ryan talks about them dating other people so that's on the table.

Look. I have never been married. But I have been in several long term relationships. I can't see myself ever agreeing to this, ever. Because as one character (Lauren's grandmother) points out, if you need to not talk for a year to realize that you miss your husband something is wrong. I just couldn't for most of this book. I can admit some passages made me snort/laugh. But anytime the book circled back to Lauren and Ryan I was over them.

Lauren's characters is a point upon martyr and it's not fun tor read pages after pages of her small and big gripes with Ryan. I also can't see how you can run around and say you still love someone but are dating/having sex with another person. That whole plot point just made me shake my head because it doesn't work in the context of the ending of this book.

Also let's just say it, Lauren was so self-absorbed. We have her interacting with other characters, but often she would tune them out or ignore their advice because it wasn't what she wanted to hear at that particular moment in time. I felt like she and Ryan needed couple's therapy. That suggestion was ignored by Ryan, though he was totally okay with them maybe perusing an open marriage.

And speaking of Ryan. I just was not feeling him at all. Ryan never felt real to me.

The first part of the book starts off interesting with you getting to see Lauren and Ryan married and having a typical fight. Then the book works back to when they first met, and all of the key milestones in their relationship (first date, first kiss, first time they made love, first time they said they love each other, etc.) then you start to see the milestones of their first real fight, the first time they got really mad, the first time things were left unsaid, etc.

Even through all of that, you only get Lauren's perspective on things. If you are going to attempt a book like this, I would hope the author would have included the husband's perspective. Because based on what I saw as a reader, Ryan was a jerk. Ryan wanted to have sex all of the time and seemed to only be focused on that. There's a plot point concerning Ryan sending draft emails to Lauren where you get to see the guy was pretty much on the prowl almost as soon as he left home. Forget that noise. I don't know how easy it is to forgive that. I don't think I have that in me. And the character of Lauren definitely does not have that in her based on what we are shown.

I found everyone else tons more interesting than Lauren and Ryan (why I gave this 2.5 stars). The family dynamic of Lauren's mother raising her, her brother Charlie, and sister I was really interested in. Here we see a strong woman raising her three children after her husband walked out on them when she was dealing with toddlers and pregnant. I also loved the grandmother character as well because she didn't sugar coat anything for Lauren and pretty much called the year experiment nonsense.

I didn't care for Lauren's brother Charlie because he acted like an asshat for most of the book, but he is still dealing with being abandoned by their father. He seems to forget that the same character walked out on Lauren and his other sister too. I wish that there had been more confrontations with this character and calling him out on his crap because there was a little bit, but then got abandoned.

The overall plot was very slow moving. I honestly didn't think that Lauren discovered anything new about herself. She literally sees one guy, runs, and cries over Ryan. If you are going to have some big experiment, I wish the author had shown this character doing a lot of things. Instead most of the book stay focused on Lauren's family. As I said, I loved most of the interactions she had with her family. But it seemed strange to focus on them so much.

The writing was okay. I just didn't feel moved either way by anything I was reading. Lauren's voice started to feel monotonous to me after a while.

The flow was not great until after we get to Lauren and Ryan's breakup. Reading and then we did this, and then this happened, and we moved into our apartment on this date, etc. was boring. I thought the transitions needed a lot of work.

The ending was not earned at all which is another reason why this got 2.5 stars from me. I as a reader wasn't shown another side of Lauren and Ryan that had me rooting for them as a couple. But I thought the resolution was way too fast for what had occurred and I wanted someone somewhere to screech at them to go to freaking therapy.